I have been climbing this mountain for a long time.
There is often no pathway, no sign posts,
sometimes I have had a guide beside me
but often I lost sight of them.
The rocks are very slippery,
and the paths very steep,
sometimes the way was so difficult I couldn't move on with out help.
Often I would reach a plateau and stay there resting for a while.
At times I have fallen down deep ravines
and have struggled to get back on path.
Other times I have just wanted to give up
and throw myself off, but I didn't.
I have slipped on the same spot time and time again
and often lost my way.
But once you've started on this steep scary climb
there no way back down, so you just keep moving on.
Sometimes I would find a firm expanse of rock to stay on.
But even solid rock has faults and stresses.
It can crack causing an avalanche of hurtful rocks to rain down on me,
with no where visible to shelter.
But after the pain
I would fight my way back again.
I have been so tired at times and have sat down and
Upwards the mountain has looked scary and gloomy shrouded in dark clouds.
Downwards I could see the storms and lighting and the darkness.
But now I am getting near the top,
I can look back and see just how far I have travelled.
I can see down in the distance the light of dawn
rising and I can feel a sense of achievement.
but now the way ahead is steeper than ever
the nearer the top the harder the going becomes.
every step I draw great gasping breaths
and my heart pounds painfully, it seems unfair when I've come so far.
Yet when I look up now I can see the sun breaking through the clouds,
and rainbows dancing in the distance
and when I look down I see others starting on this long path.
I know then that I have to find the strength to finish my climb
to reach the top of my mountain.
So I can look all around and see the beauty of the world.
and reach out my hand to help and guide those
climbing there own mountains.
Healing Our Past Experiences
Self-help and support services for adult survivors of childhood and or adult sexual abuse
Charity reg no1119389